Glitter Tumblr Themes

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job


doctor:  sir we asked you to tape your allergic reactions this is just a video of you skateboarding
me:  tell me thats not sick
doctor:  haha yeah its pretty fucking sick dude

helveticas:

I want all the clothes in the world but I only have $9 and my virginity 

"if you consider a woman
less pure after you’ve touched her
maybe you should take a look at your hands"
-

(via solacity)

I will never not reblog this

(via nuedvixx)

rogerwilsons:

chris evans is so fucking confusing because you see him and you’re like wow i wanna ride your dick across the pacific ocean and then he opens his mouth and says some adorable nerdy shit or giggles like a school girl and you wanna bake him cookies and watch aladdin with him

missmirandaaraee:

"dark lipstick makes you look intimidating"

good. stay the hell away from me.